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» A Complicated Breakfast Order!
A resident in a posh hotel breakfast room called over the headwaiter one morning and said with a wonderful and cheerful smile.
"Good Morning Sir", the Headwaiter says.
"What a wonderful morning I`d like two boiled eggs, one of them so under cooked it`s runny, and the other so over cooked it s tough and hard to eat. Also, grilled bacon that has been left out so it gets a bit on the cold side; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it s impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, lukewarm."
"That`s a complicated order Sir," said the bewildered waiter, "It might be quite difficult."
The guest replied, "Oh? I don t understand what is the problem in that, that`s what I got yesterday!"
» 10 Signs You Really Are Old
1. You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
2. Turn off the lights for economical reasons, not romantic ones.
3. You read the obituaries to find eligible women.
4. Old ladies offer to help you cross the street.
5. Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
6. The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
7. A beautiful girl walks by and nothing happens.
8. You have all the answers but nobody is asking you the questions.
9. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
10. All the names in your little black book end with MD (mentally deficient).
» Did You Have A Fight With Your Wife?
Santa walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of the strongest thing you've got."
He takes the shot glass and knocks it back. He then asks for another one and knocks that on back, too. After about five or six of these the bartender decides that he's going to cut the guy off.
Bartender says to Santa, "Hey, what's wrong with you? Did you have a fight with your wife or something?"
Santa sighs and says, "Yeah, after the fight she said that she wasn't going to speak to me for a whole month!"
The bartender, puzzled, says, "Well, what's wrong with that?"
Santa replied, "Well today's the last day!"
» Whats The Difference??!!!
Man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT;
woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.
Man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION;
woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.
Man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD;
woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.
Man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE;
woman discovered LOVE and invented LOVE TRIANGLES.
Man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY;
woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.
Thats it!!!
Thereafter man has discovered and invented a lot of things... While women are still STUCK with shopping.... .......... . !!!