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COLLECTION WIFE RELATED JOKES ON SMILE4FRIENDS

» Suspicious Wife

A wife suspected that her husband was having an affair with the housemaid.

 

She thought of a plan to take him by surprise.

 

One Friday she told the maid to take the day off and that night she went into the maid’s room, switched off all the lights and, in pitch darkness, slipped into the bed.

 

Sure enough at midnight, there were footsteps and a figure opened the door and slipped into the maid’s bed beside her…

 

After a few passionate kisses, the wife suddenly switched on the lights and asked, “Surprised?”

 

“I sure am, ma’am!” stammered the chauffeur.

» Great Lover!

When a man died, his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea.

 

No sooner were the papers delivered than a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea." Replied the widow, "I nursed him night and day so of course I knew he died of diarrhea. But I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was."

» Finding Perfect Men

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.

 

"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!"

 

An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV!"

» Jealous Wife

There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"

 

The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!"

» The Guide To Wife Translations

The wife says: You want

The wife means: You want

 

The wife says: We need

The wife means: I want

 

The wife says: It's your decision

The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious

 

The wife says: Do what you want

The wife means: You'll pay for this later

 

The wife says: We need to talk

The wife means: I need to complain

 

The wife says: Sur  [more...]